He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
