My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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