I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
