If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
