how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
