i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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