I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize