I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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