seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
