Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
