So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Couch. On fire.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
