Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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