Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
