im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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