Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
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Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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