At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
