I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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