Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
