her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
A+ Viking dick
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
