Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
