There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My life is pants optional.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
