Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
