THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
