I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
