This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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