I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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