ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ugly people sure do ruin things
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
