i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
