I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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