hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize