Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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