Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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