Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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