he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize