marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
