Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
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Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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