"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize