Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
