Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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