I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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