She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
