a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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