oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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