when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
