My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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