In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
