Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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