nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
