is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
