You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Fuck appropriateness.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
