My balls are so social today.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
