just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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