She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm both gender and math confused
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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