so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
