did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
