Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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