then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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