my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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